06 June 2008

More Questions that Need Answers…

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 

Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON T.V.? 

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? 

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If you are addicted to dancing, do you have to go through a 12 step program?

If olive oil comes from olives, and corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?" 

Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat"?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight? 

Why do toasters even have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp? 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

05 June 2008

Questions that Need Answering...

  1. Why do you drive on a PARKway and park in a DRIVEway?
  2. Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
  3. Why is it a PAIR of panties and a bra instead of the other way around?
  4. Why do men and women see things so differently?

04 June 2008

Self Expression

There's a girl at my work that has her own name tattooed on the side of her leg! My response: ?? Maybe this misplaced form of self-expression helps her to stay in touch with who she really is? Ironic.

03 June 2008

Quotes attributed to Albert Einstein

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity: and I'm not sure about the universe"

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former"

26 May 2008

Who’s Next?

Uma Thurman, Reese Witherspoon, Halle Barry and now Shania Twain. Reportedly Shania's the latest of Hollywood's beautiful women to have been cheated on by their spouses. Sad commentary as many sources decry the act due only to the beauty of these women and not for the wrongness of the act itself. I'd like to hear some news coverage decrying the act and not bemoaning the irony of men who are married to gorgeous women and then cheat. That would be ironic!

24 May 2008

Memorial Day Weekend at Pensacola Beach

We went out to Pensacola Beach this AM to get some friends we were transporting to the airport. As usual there were a ton of folks out there, mostly tourists from parts north going about their touristy business. As we were leaving the parking lot of the hotel our friends were staying at I snapped this picture. Apparently the young woman on the pavement couldn't wait to begin her sunbathing and commenced to do so right in the parking lot! (The funny thing is that the water is literally less than 100 yards from this very spot!)
In sum, the amount of skin that gets fried on any given day on the beach would probably put a pork rind factory to shame. Ironic.

12 May 2008


Speaking of cats...
This is our cat Oliver.
Amazing an animal so ignorant (special needs) can at the same time be so beautiful! 
Ironic!














I love my wife and she loves cats, therefore I LOVE CATS! Ironic.

03 May 2008

Friends of the Library Book Sale

Today we attended the Friends of the Pensacola Public Library Annual Book Sale. Aside from the rude senior citizens we encountered it was a pleasant experience. When we got there we queued up outside of the doors with about half a dozen people in front of us. Shortly an old couple came up and rather than go to the end of the ever burgeoning line they decided to stand near the front of the line near the door. I thought it rather presumptuous on their part and sure enough when the doors opened they just barged right on in as if the 50 people behind them didn't exist! I'm thinking being over 65 does not entitle one to believe suddenly they are not to subscribe to a modicum of decorum like the rest of us. On the lighter side, we were able to get more books than we could hardly carry for a low, low $45 US. A quick perusal of the cover price of the books Becky & I got indicated the books we paid $25 for at the sale were a $367.00 value. Not bad as long as you ignore the boorish behavior of the elderly!

28 April 2008

Miley's Mistake


So Miley Cyrus got duped this past weekend into having some pics taken that she later regretted. The part that bothered me about this deal was the fact that her dad (and mom I have since learned) was with her (apparently he left before the end). These days it seems all of the role models in the media eye seem to fall from grace ever faster. I was disappointed to hear of this incident yet the latest example of this trend. Hopefully she will learn from this while all the time receiving even more attention and press than the already wall-to-wall Hannah Montana coverage we are all becoming used to. 

How would things be different if Miley had been taught and valued the standards espoused in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet (or card)? If she knew and followed the prophetic counsel starting on page 14 her decision might have been easier to make. Additionally parents have a God given responsibility to teach and nurture their children and rear them in righteousness. At the end of the day she is still only 15 years old and therefore should have the benefit of parents who actually parent (fulfill their role). So Billy Ray, I think you should take your role as dad a little more seriously and keep a better eye on your daughter; she's still growing up!

Parting Shot: The Fox News ticker guy dubbed this an Achy Breaky Mistakey! (BTW: Billy Ray has one of the nicest mullets ever!)

PS #2: One of the local Elementary Schools is hosting a "Spring Fling" dance! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Holey Moley What is going on?

27 April 2008

The Great Irony

So how's this for irony? When I was a young Boy Scout I got lost on the first day of a week long 50 mile hike from Mirror Lake (in the High Uintah Wilderness Area of Utah) to King's Peak (the highest point in Utah). I survived, and years later my first career consisted of being a Survival Instructor (SERE) for the United States Air Force. So he who was miserably lost instructed Aircrew members how to never suffer the same fate! Ironic.